smile.

myidealhome: happy shelves (via Fjeldborg: LotusLOVE.) happy...

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 22:23:41 -0700

myidealhome:

happy shelves (via Fjeldborg: LotusLOVE.)

happy colors!

Antibiotics

Mon, 07 Jan 2013 12:30:39 -0800

While my father was driving us home from the clinic…

Mom (calling from home): How did it go? What did he give you?

Me: Umm some antibiotics. Right, Dad?

Dad: (No response/deep in thought)

Me: Yeah..I think.

Mom: For how many days?

Me: Ten…Right, Dad?

Dad: (No response/deep in thought)

Me: Okayyy…Yeah, the doctor said ten. And twenty for the allerg-

Dad: (blurting out suddenly) I think the doctor wants to set you up with his son!!!!

*Cue eye roll

2012

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 23:56:00 -0800

Last year’s post was filled with pictures and stories. Looking back, 2012 definitely wasn’t as exciting as 2011. Wait, I forgot about Hurricane Sandy.

Anyways…

2012 was just as good though. WHAT?!?, you (especially if you’ve seen me in the past couple of months) may exclaim. Let me explain.

2011 was amazing because of my friends, graduation, parties, etc. And because life was good, I neglected God. Things worked out according to my plan, so naturally I thought it was all due to my own efforts.

2012 was a loud and obnoxious morning call. It started off with a heartbreak that would later snowball into a breach between my family and my uncle’s family. Nothing went according to plan. I lost my voice on the day of Team Jay Chou’s performance at TASS Nightmarket. We rented our apartment in California to an unreliable tenant. I had to leave Taiwan a month earlier (with one week notice). School was a lot harder this past fall semester. Hurricane Sandy happened. I got sick on the day of my LSAT exam, aka the birthday of Hurricane K (regarding the flu and how I infected three people in the span of two hours).

God never left me alone. Instead of punishing me, He provided with overwhelming abundance. He taught me lessons, took care of me, comforted, and showed so much grace. He highlighted my weaknesses and my selfishness. It was terrifying to see how self-centered I could be, and humbling to witness my desperation, fear, and breakdown.

With my internship, school, and LSATs, this past semester has definitely been very hard. In a world of constant studying, working, and writing papers, I felt tired, drained, and just not very happy. Maybe it was stress or maybe old age, but I cried more than usual (I got teary when my pastor mentioned the word “compassion” at church this past Sunday). Almost everything ticked me off. I did not want to talk to anyone.

I remember looking down at my school library’s lobby through the fence that was recently put up to prevent suicides. And I remember thinking that I could, for the first time ever, sort of relate to those who considered taking their own lives (FRIENDS, DO NOT BE CONCERNED). That thought punched me in the face back to reality. Like, really? I would take my own life because of…school? I was crying over school when people were suffering from lack of water, food, gas, and shelter (actually, I don’t remember if this took place after Hurricane Sandy, but you know what I mean).

That moment, though kind of enlightening, was not life changing. God was just showing me a clearer picture of myself and my priorities. This self portrait was not pretty at all. I saw my insecurities, my tendency to judge, my indifference, and my pride. And even with my sinful nature, God still took me into His arms. He provided amazing and patient friends who I could vent to and learn from. He made me laugh. He encouraged me to persevere. He gave me supportive parents who proved to be NOT Asian at all (they’re happy as long as I’m happy). Most of all, He gave me peace and rest.

I thought leading a small group would be stressful and time consuming. And I was right. It was stressful, but only when I went over the Bible study with schoolwork and LSATs still lingering in my mind. After ten or twenty minutes, my focus would be on the Word, and not so much on school. It was relaxing, the perfect break from studying or writing. Spending an hour or two on going over the Bible study and spending another hour or two leading the group were of course time consuming. God however proved that worrying was useless, because He gave me the strength and time to finish everything..on time (sorry for the redundancy).

Also, who knew God could be motherly? I’ve always considered Him as a father figure, but not really as a mom. My mom would always let me sleep a little bit longer and wake me up right before I had to go somewhere. God did the exact same thing. During finals week, as I became more and more sleep deprived, He gave me time to rest. Being a light sleeper, I would wake up as soon as my alarm rang. However, in the midst of final projects, exams, and papers, God gave me more time to sleep. With two papers due on the same day, I planned on not sleeping or just sleeping for an hour or two. He gave me a bargain of six hours of sleep for two completed papers one hour before they were due. Right on! The extra hours or even just twenty more minutes of sleep were food for endurance.

2012 was like a difficult book you had to read for AP Lit. You found it confusing and even hated it. However, you finished the book, triumphant with more knowledge and appreciative of what it taught you. 2012 left me battered and drained, but not without new memories, lessons, goals, and friends. Two of my favorite memories from this year are the newest addition (baby Catherine) to my family and my friends’ baptisms at City Grace. I also learned recently that a friend from my college a cappella group came to Christ. God has been SO GOOD and I pray that I will never neglect His love, provision, and grace.

At 11:56PM, there are only a few minutes left of 2012. Here’s to a fabulous 2013 filled with more love, compassion, and appreciation of God’s greatness. Happy New Year!!

New York vs California (personalities)

Sat, 17 Nov 2012 21:16:00 -0800

New York Karen: I am so cold. I’m so tired. I have so much work to do. The law exam is taking me so long. I have three more papers to write. I haven’t studied yet. I’m so hungry. I can’t believe those stupid strangers tricked me. I’m so annoyed. I’m so mad. I’m so stressed. My Ikea chair is falling apart. I want to cry.

California Karen: Dude. Chill out. Jesus died for you. He went through more than you’ll ever go through. Anyways, Jesus got you covered. Stop worrying about tomorrow. And He’s probably chuckling because you’re kind of funny when you’re stressed and irritated.

currently obsessed with Dry The River (beauuuutiful harmonies)

Fri, 26 Oct 2012 14:18:25 -0700

currently obsessed with Dry The River (beauuuutiful harmonies)

had to listen to passion pit’s album for work on thursday....

Sat, 06 Oct 2012 11:06:00 -0700

had to listen to passion pit’s album for work on thursday. couldn’t finish listening to the entire album because constant conversations was on repeat. groovy.

A promise

Tue, 02 Oct 2012 20:31:00 -0700

I’m going to stop complaining about how stressed I am. Therefore, slap me or something if you hear me complaining. Or just gently tell me to trust God.

Control

Tue, 25 Sep 2012 20:16:52 -0700

I’ve currently lost control of my life. It’s stressful and it makes me want to cry every night. However, I’ve exchanged control for reliance. My life is in Your hands.

chellelielie: dis is too cute!!!!!

Fri, 17 Aug 2012 11:28:45 -0700

chellelielie:

dis is too cute!!!!!

Jetlag

Thu, 26 Jul 2012 11:31:43 -0700

I woke up at 3am thinking it was 6 already. A few hours later, I accompanied my mom to the immigration office where she got her fingerprints taken. I was there to help fill out the forms and translate.

Guard: Do you have your appointment letter?

Me: (to my mom…in English) He needs your department letter. Apartment letter. Dang it. Appointment letter. (smiles sheepishly at the guard)

Children, not sleeping really makes you dumber.

I didn't mean to say what I said

Fri, 20 Jul 2012 10:53:39 -0700

Today, a woman wearing multiple layers of fake eyelashes rushed into the bookstore, walking as if she was some kind of A-list celebrity. She went straight to the front desk and cut right in front of my mom who had a bajillion (well, eight or nine) books in her hands. As the woman paid for a roll of film, I considered telling her to get in line. However, I decided to let it go. After the woman left, I felt pretty bothered by the incident and the way I ignored it. A few minutes later, I saw her again. Still upset, I went up to her and told her to apologize for cutting in front of my mom. She insisted she didn’t see the people waiting in line and therefore would not apologize. Her friends though were pretty concerned about the incident (they weren’t even there).

Then this happened:

What I meant to say - It’s embarrassing how I have to teach someone older than me the proper way to behave in a store.

What I blurted out - You look really old.

OOPS

Of course, I didn’t leave it just like that. To cover up my mistake, I added this:

You look really old….and my mom is even older! Do you know how long she’s been waiting?

It’s never fun to yell at someone though. I spent the next few hours wondering if I had ruined her day. At least she learned to not cut in front of people again (hopefully).

Decisions

Sun, 08 Jul 2012 22:18:00 -0700

I’ve gotten so used to flying back and forth from New York to California to Taiwan that the thought of staying permanently at one place scares me. Whenever school ends for the semester, I’ll tell people I’m going back home to California. Whenever my one month stay at California is over, I’ll get super excited about going home to Taiwan for another two months or so. Whenever school is about to start, I’ll say goodbye to my relatives and friends in Taiwan and tell them I’m going back to New York. It’s never just visiting, I go home to these places.

I will be done with school next spring. For the first time in nine or ten years, I have to decide where I want to stay permanently (or at least for two years).

Some thoughts:

New York - culture, food, most of my friends are here, convenience…I just really like NYC in general

California - parents, sister and her family, great/predictable weather

Taiwan - parents, relatives, the people, 7-11, culture, food, easier to get a decent job here (maybe)

I was all set on staying in New York or somewhere on the east coast for at least five or six more years. However, I realized this summer that I had completely neglected spending time with my relatives in Taiwan for the past nine years. My grandparents are all almost ninety. My grandpa didn’t recognize me when I visited. I haven’t seen most of my cousins in three, four, or five years. I don’t even really know them anymore.

Ugh. I don’t know. I guess it all depends on where I get the job. Need to pray more about this.

omgawshhhhhh

Tue, 03 Jul 2012 09:38:12 -0700

omgawshhhhhh

Moody

Tue, 26 Jun 2012 11:47:10 -0700

I can’t figure out why I’m so angry and impatient these days.

Possible reasons:

-Internship - must find one soon

-Colloquy - must start/figure out a new topic soon

-Can’t decide what to do in the future

-Can’t decide where to go

-Relationships

-Lack of sleep (must go to sleep earlier to start preparing for the school year…all nighters, i hate you so much)

-My grandfather could not remember who I was. My grandfather has Parkinson’s disease, so of course this was expected. He’s had good and bad days; today was obviously his bad day. Nevertheless, it still hurt. I used to spend so much time with my grandparents, more than my relatives who all lived two hours away. Now, I only get to see them once a year. What happened today was a wake up call. Maybe it’s time to move back to Taiwan?

Random memory of my grandfather: When I was four or five, I hit my head on my grandparents’ table. Being the spoiled brat that I was, I demanded my grandmother to buy me something sweet as compensation for what her table did to my head. I yelled out several brands of junk food between sobs and continued to cry when my grandmother left the house. My grandfather then patted my head and asked, “Why did you hurt my table? Look at this! You left a mark”. I cried even louder because I could not believe the table was more important to him than my head.

NYC spoiled me

Sun, 20 May 2012 15:32:05 -0700

Some things I saw (or thought I saw) during a lovely evening stroll in the OC:

-A tangled piece of string on the sidewalk

SNAKE!!!! (I literally yelled out “SNAKE!”)

-A rabbit hopping away into the bushes

Chihuahua?

mr. wrinkles

Tue, 08 May 2012 23:35:39 -0700

mr. wrinkles

ninja turtles for reals

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 22:36:23 -0700

ninja turtles for reals

New tabs

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 21:22:00 -0800

Having too many windows open means taking too long to find the Word document I was working on and forgetting entirely what I was looking for.

I was totally falling asleep, but this woke me up completely....

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 20:04:35 -0800

I was totally falling asleep, but this woke me up completely. Thank you, stylish lady in red and polka dots.

i-donline:

Join the Dots

Yayoi Kusama brings her unique vision to Tate Modern for a major and remarkable retrospective.

i-Donline.com

i should be working on my papers, but..but..HOW CAN I RESIST...

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 19:04:10 -0800

i should be working on my papers, but..but..HOW CAN I RESIST THIS???

theclearlydope:

Just watch until everything is alright.